Aggressive Toddler
Aggressive toddler who bites, hits, kicks and grabs his other friends is not only going to wreck his social life, but also his intellectual and skill development.
Although in toddler’s year (around 20 months), it is still too early to start worrying about his future, in fact this kinds of behavior is more likely a characteristic of his age, and to some extent, his gender.
However, there are a host of reasons why many toddlers tend to be aggressive :
A drive for independence and identity. Like a small fish in pond that keeps getting bigger and bigger, the toddler asserts himself aggressively in order to feel larger and more important.
Frustration. Upset when he can’t seem to control his environment as much as he’d like, this little control freak responds the only ways he knows.
Egocentricity (lack of empathy). Most toddlers in this age still see themselves as the center of the universe and still display inability to care for others who is viewed more as an object than an equal friend.
Lack of impulse control. Even once a toddler understands that hitting hurts, he may not be able to stop himself from doing it
Inability to foresee consequences. He may be sorry after he’s made a playmate cry, but he doesn’t have the foresight yet to avoid that unpleasant result by not hitting in the first place.
Lack of social proficiency. Human beings are born with survival instinct, but social skill is not inborn. It needs to be learned from older role model, experiences, trial and error, and instructions.
Lack of verbal facility. A toddler’s actions almost certainly speak louder and clearer than his words. Since he can’t express himself on words, he uses physical language instead.
An interest in cause and effect. Some toddlers get curious with the effect or result, for example “Hmmm when I hit Ryan, he cried. What would happen if I hit John?”
Fatigue, hunger, illness. Tired, hungry, sick and uncomfortable felt toddler would easily get upset with small things he doesn’t like or agree.
An unsettling life change. Different sitter everyday, different place on vacation, or unstable situation will make a toddler more easily upset than usual.
Inadequate attention. Lack of attention from parents will impact to toddler’s behavior, such as they often “act up” in order to win notice
An overly hostile environment. The violent behavior of people a toddler is close to, can fuel aggression in him.
An overly controlling environment. When a toddler has no free to choose, he’ll get frustrated which may increase into an aggressive behavior.
An uncontrolled environment. Parents who don’t set limit, may unintentionally encourage out-of-bounds behavior in a toddler.
Impaired parents or caregivers. Problems such as abuse drugs or alcohols, depression, and others will directly influence into aggressive behavior in a toddler.
